You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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