Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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