Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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