the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
