Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
