I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
