Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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