...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
