I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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