We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
