My underwear smells like fireworks.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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