She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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