My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
