i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
