I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
