I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
