Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
