return my video game
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
