take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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