I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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