The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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