I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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