do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Ladies don't puke and tell
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
