my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
