dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize