she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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