Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize