he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
