She just used a chaser for red wine.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
