So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
