And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
