even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
