Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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