What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
