just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Someone came in the potted fern
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
