Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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