It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
