I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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