im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He felt like a one man threesome
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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