there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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