woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
