A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
