why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
