I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
