His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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