my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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