New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
