White coat. Heels.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
