so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
