I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
