There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
