I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
