you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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