Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
