If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
