No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
