Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
