I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she told me i tasted like america
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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