i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
