the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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