oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
